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• The sweat marks the fat lady left on the subway seat next to me. I watched them slowly evaporate... Mmmm... Moist!
• People who complained about the MTA having "signal problems" yesterday, when they went home and cranked their AC's, turned on all their lights and used their dishwashers while watching TV!
• The old and stinky broccoli I found in my fridge this morning.
• Those dang street cleaners do nothing but upsweep the dirt on the street in peoples eyes.
• The taunts of a sweaty biker. Grrr...

I hate the way people act around elevators! Like, when they walk into the hallway of a lobby and you're standing right in front of the elevator waiting and they press the button - just in case - because there's no way YOU would have pushed it...

I've changed my mind: recycling is pretty much useless. Not only does the actual process generate an enormous amount of waste, nothing (except aluminum) can be recycled into its original material. Everything is downgraded into a weaker, less useful material. Instead of worrying about how much waste we generate we should worry about producing things with less packaging trash. I hate the government for worrying about "Global Warming" and not the trash that we generate daily! Why can't products be made and delivered with less plastic and padding? If we shipped and bought more things locally, we could eliminate a whole bunch of that crap. And maybe it's the producers responsibility to collect their packaging waste after a consumer throws it out... what a novel idea! That way they'd either figure out how to produce with less waste, or re-use the waste.

P.S. I hate LOUD TALKERS! You know, people who have no idea how FLIPPING loud their voice actually is?

I hated the government even more than usual on Wednesday morning. I heard the torrential rain pouring in through my air conditioner cracks and the deafening sounds of thunder at 6.20 am. But that's not why I was mad. I was mad because this shit is obviously related to climate change and it's taken this long for the white guys at the top to admit that even a hint of this might be true. It's taken 30 years for "global warming" to become a real threat. It's taken forever for going green to become "cool." (Suddenly everyone's jumping on the bandwagon! Yay!) I was mad at them for not doing SHIT all these years, not fixing anything. What the hell are they good for if not that? I was mad at them for not caring that our society is becoming a bunch of sheep. I see it in the kids who take tests all day in school, they're not learning to think for themselves, they're learning how to follow directions. And they're the future leaders of the world, huh. I was mad at all politicians for never standing up for ideas, never committing to anything that needs changing. It's always some middle-of-the-road stance on everything. Gotta "play it safe." And most of all, I was mad at that idiot George Bush for not once considering the environment in any action he ever took as the crappiest president ever to bumble through "leading" the country. Thanks buddy!

now that's the kind of public art i'm talking about! (defacing a paris hilton poster) you are a beast. i stick to my earlier statement. so stuck in your little bubble you have no idea what’s going on outside it. totally clueless to the fact that there may be more important things going on besides the girl-drama-episodes you create. maybe you’re bored. so bored you feel the need to create something out of what could be nothing. nothing important. you lie, cheat and try so hard to please everyone with every stupid cell in your body. and in the end, you’re a coward. scared shitless of face to face contact. you chain-smoke to be able to approach someone. then you break down and yell and stamp your feet to get what you want. sure, no one’s perfect, but you’d think after a year you might have learned. i sure did. this isn’t about cheap shots or calling you names though. i really do pity you. you will never be able to find someone to love you. you don’t even love yourself. you’ll probably get married, maybe even have that dream wedding you’ve been fantasizing about all these years. but it will end disastrously. or you’ll just lie to yourself the rest of your life about why he is distant or cheats on you. or maybe you’ll marry the fat guy who stalked you. he’ll worship you forever, but you’ll be too embarrased to be seen in public with him. but you won’t even be able to save yourself because you have no self-discipline. you can’t even get yourself to stick to a diet for 3 days, let alone a workout routine. if i were you i’d leave the country for a while, experience something outside of your safe little world. pay attention to the news. pay more attention to people. read something. anything.

that’s why i pity you. poor girl.

people like to start shit with me about recycling. like, “what’s the point, man?” come on! it’s so easy to do, i don’t know why it’s not universal.

i recently put three signs on three different garbage cans around the art department at my job. one for plastic/cans/glass and two for paper/cardboard etc. you’d think it was self explanatory huh. still had people asking where food went. uhh.. in the regular trash? still had people asking where plastic went. and then there are the cynical ones, asking “why should we even bother? it doesn’t make a difference!” i’m not saying it makes a huge difference. but it’s easy. and if everyone did it, it might. not only that though, we need to reduce the amount of waste in packaging. corporations need to, that is. ughh.. such a huge problem.

design anarchy you know what really pisses me off? people who don't know shit about iguanas and either own one as a pet or owned one previously. there's this psycho-babble lady at work, she just loves to fucking talk and talk.. god.. you can't even make eye contact with her or you'll get a ten minute story. and she's the type who can't read people's reactions for shit. you could show no interest whatsoever, completely ignore her and she'll continue for at least five minutes, laughing at her own jokes, trying to get you to make eye contact. get a freaking clue! i'm not trying to be mean, but she really pushed my buttons the other day talking about how she used to have an iguana. from her babble i could tell she had not freaking clue as to how to care for one. how do these people get away with shit like that? then she's like "yeah he died." and he wasn't old, so you killed him you idiot! oh yeah, and she mentioned he had a heat rock. great idea! put an easily malfunctioning hot piece of ceramic in it's cage while keeping the rest of the cage ambient room temperatures! so he'll just stick on the rock and burn himself! awesome.. people are so smart. not to mention his diet and lack of natural sunlight or flourescent light. god, it fucking pisses me off. it makes me so mad that people make animals suffer out of their own ignorance. i wanted to shake her. instead i just ignored her.

read more about iggy's on melissa kaplan's awesome website.

and theres this wire under my desk that somehow ALWAYS manages to get caught in my goddamn chair rollers even though EVERY single day i kick it far away! dammit!

riding the PATH train is a lot of work. seriously! especially when you get cut off by some dude who's in so much of a rush to get on the train he pushes past you and steals the last seat. dang! what ever happened to ladies first? you're damn right i want to reap the benefits of that rule! i'm more of a girl now than ever! i even wear makeup sometimes. also, those fidgety people on the trains drive me insane! whatever happened to sitting still so your leg or arm isn't bumping into me every 2 seconds? there's this guy who pretends to read the paper but turns the page every second. there's no way he could read that fast. i think he has ADD or something. and those people who are so fat they ooze over two seats and don't even attempt to move when you squeeze your comparingly tiny self in between them and the guy next to you. ugh! i know you're large, but could you at least make an attempt? like pull your arms in so they're not lounging around over my seat? and close your legs! i don't like other people touching me. is that asking too much? oh, and one more thing, i remembered why i don't wear skirts often. sometimes i think people have never seen legs in tights before. go look at porn or something! People are idiots! And completely ignorant and oblivious of the outside world! I had just found out Bayard (the company I work for) is putting in a proposal for Aramco (basically, the House of Saud) to recruit people to work/live on this oil compound in Saudi Arabia. And obviously it's a controversial project, there's a shitload of money being offered, cuz no company in this country is too keen on taking the job. It involves developing an strict-as-hell ad campaign to recruit Americans to move their families and themselves to this high security compound in Saudi Arabia. So my one roommate is like "What's Aramco? What's house of Saud?" So I start to explain, blah blah Saudi Arabia is where uhhh lots of oil comes from.. where lots of terrorists come from, House of Saud is the political regime that's still ruling with an iron fist over there, where women still can't go outside uncovered and you could have your hand chopped off for stealing, if the government sees fit.. Is any of it ringing a bell? And she's like "Yeah.. I don't really pay that much attention to politics." ! Riiight.. world news, that's not important. Probably because you're wasting your time watching a TV show about the fabulous life of celebrities, I think! Anyways.. it's times like that I'm so thankful there are some people like you left who pay attention to that shit, who have that urge to change shit or at the very least make people aware that there's life outside metro mathattan.

going to the gym now to work off some of my frustration.

binches are like magicians.
they can make something.. out of nothing!
i'm having flashbacks of my adolescence. homones. it's horrible, how did i survive 6 years like this? unreasonable, uncontrollable urge to cry and scream when i dont get my way or even if i do. feeling weak like i need someone but i know i don't. i want to scream out for help but i don't know how. this is why they said i needed girl friends. but they come at a price. they can't be trusted. roommates say they don't mind living with my animals, but i know they do. just tell it like it is, i promise i won't cry. should have thought of that before you moved in i say, now you'll know. it's just a minor inconvenience. is it really worth bitching about the most insignificant things when people are suffering and dying every fucking day? i'm sorry that i'd rather read bbc news than watch some stupid chick flick with you guys.
boy would a 1br be sweet right about now... it's been a while since i've been ranting about something. don't get me wrong, life is sweet... besides the fact that i'm completely broke and in tons of debt! ha! yeah.. that's nice. but every once in a while i forget how much life sucks. therefore i revisist my RANTS PAGE! a "specific terror threat" has been issued on NYC's public transportation as of today. got me thinking, what's with terrorists anyway? i actually agree with their cause - america's government sucks. okay, i'm with you there guys - it's true! (at the very least if we are going to stick our pesky little heads into other countries affairs at all we should first maybe consider consulting other major countries first, huh.. ) okay, so i think pretty much everyone agrees with that. but the major flaw with terrorists is that they decide to target the useless sheep of this country - us. why don't they go after the rich-white-corrupt-ass dudes who are actually making the decisions that affect them? doesn't that make more sense? i'm confused.. it all seems so simple. if anyone serves to die, it's the decision makers. kill the motherfuckers who are making the decisions that interfere with your government. killing us accomplishes nothing. it's nonsense. lets say every corrupt/bad decision maker/politician is a leech. regular people are sheep. for every leech there are 200 sheep - that's right, i figured out the ratio.. this is all true.. the leeches are sucking the life out of you while the sheep are oblivious. doesn't it make more sense to blow the fucking leeches up?!? the sheep are merely grazing.. killing sheep accomplishes nothing, just makes the leeches madder. man.. give me ten minutes with a translator and some of the fucking idiots that call themselves "terrorists" i'll explain it to them. one day at a time, they told me. "they" obviously never lived in new york city. the days come all at once here. everything crashes down. i will never make it in this city. it's eating me alive. it's only loved by those who have tons of money to spend living here or visitors. if you don't have money and you try to survive here, you will be eaten up and spit out. or maybe i'm just a poor manager of my funds. plenty of other people can survive here on a 35k salary a year. why can't i? oh yeah, i need to make a budget, one of the things i perpetually fail to do every month - that's one reason. besides i've got 60+ grand to pay back to loan companies. why the fuck do i live here? i've got to move my tv out of my room. and make more lists. i've got to get things done. but i can't because i'm too fucking busy commuting 2 hours a day to come back to my overheated, smelly and disorganized life... i mean apartment. i've got to get out of here.

there is no spring or fall in new york. only winter and hot as fucking hell. it was 55 degrees last week - now its 87. so what the hell is the point of spring fashions?

goddamn i hate the fucking bronx. i find haters extremely funny. let me qualify that; the haters that stand down the street from me at fordham plaza preaching about how the white man is the devil. where could that theory possibly have come from? how can logical, sane people actually believe this? well, thanks to my intelligent and well-read boyfriend, i can answer that. he's reading a malcom x biography you see. he tells me malcolm startedoff hating on the white man too. (nation of islam, yada yada) he was a total hater but after 12 years he began to see a bit more logically. he went on a pilgrimage and discovered that he loved all muslims. yeah, he hated non-muslims but at least he had a legitimate reason for hating them - they didn't believe in what he did. what kind of reason is color? it's not a choice. anyhow, i see where the guy was coming from, i have no choice to acknowledge that we (the white folk) have done some real fucked up shit, and i can see where this anger comes from. what i can't understand is how these people today can still preach this radical hating religion, and completely misunderstand and misuse malcolm's writings - not to mention that book i think they call the koran. they must be a teeensy bit intelligent if they can think about something other than shitting, sex and sleeping, right? they obviously are seeking some sort of spiritual enlightenment. so how can that intelligence be so COMPLETELY wasted on BLATENTLY ignorant statements? i want to yell at them to read ALL of malcolm's writings, read them again and again until they GET IT. they must be skimming them or reading the abridged version... or maybe cliffs notes. nah, even cliff could figure this one out. everytime i walk by i smile real big and say "wassup sucka! i'm white and LOVIN IT!" i also waggle my tongue and make devil horns outta my fingers.
read this if you want more not only is this craze over the pope ("omg, suddenly he's a celebrity!") insanely annoying, but today i'm watching the news and i hear "up next, let's discuss what the new pope will wear at his first appearance!"

(dramatic pause)

did i really just hear that?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE MEDIA?! i don't even know where to begin to address that...
and while we're on the subject, i hate newscasters. they sit there and smile at me from the box, all done up, acting like they've got personalities, joking around with each other. just deliver the damn news! i don't want to hear your mainstream-mediocre opinion, i don't want to hear how your weekend was or how funny you think your chump co-reporter's tie is. (and why do we need two reporters anyway? is there so much news that one person can't report it? oh no, but we've got to "go back to caroline in the studio" for certain news, mix it up a bit.. while we're at it, lets show some snazzy graphics! after all, we've got to beat out the other news stations - not actually accurately report the news!) what you shuold be doing is telling me what's happening in a serious voice, like you actually give a damn. don't trivialize the stories you don't think are important, don't bias your statements just because you think you're right. you aren't in the position to make that decision. you deliver the news, i form my own opinions. your happy-go-lucky attitude makes me want to shove your face into a brick wall. and while you're at it, you media mogels, try actually reporting news from outside this country! maybe then we wouldn't be the most ignorant nation in the world despite our wealth and opportunities. holy crap, it's april already... sorry kids, maybe keeping up with this blog thing is harder than i thought.. wait a minute, this ain't no blog, it's a place for me to rant and rave like a looney! so get off my johnson! ha, i'm just kidding ya! the fact that i haven't written should indicate that i haven't had anything to rant about! which means my state of mind has been pleasant! what a nice suprise! but today i got a really hot topic... it concerns rain and umbrellas in new york city. see, i live and work there, and when it rains, it really pisses me off. your umbrella is rendered practically useless in new york city! i don't even know why they sell them! for one, the tall buildings create gigantic wind tunnels which blow your umbrellas inside out and make you look like a fool. the wind also blows the rain right in your face, on your clothes and shoes. so not only are you totally soaked - even with your snazzy pink umbrella - but your umbrella is inside out most of the time and if you don't invest in a heavy duty one, it will most likely just break! now what if the wind isn't too severe? well, it's still no walk in the park. imagine a 6 foot wide sidewalk packed with people each carrying their own individual fancy-pants umbrella. things can get really ugly, i'll tell ya that much. if you have a bigger gang of people you can usually win by shoving oncoming people to the other side of the sidewalk, otherwise prepare to get poked and prodded by umbrella spikes! and you may even have your umbrella knocked clear out of your hand, stranger things have happened! and then, for the finish, try riding the subway with a bunch of wet people all carrying their umbrellas. the windows get all foggy, the humidity makes the smell of people that more pungent and the person standing next to you will most likely scrape their wet umbrella across your legs! the smell of dirty cigarette spanish filth emenates from the apartment below into the carpet by my bed. sometimes i can smell it in my sleep. it makes my skin crawl, the smell of someone else's filth. even though humans only have 10 million olfactory sensory cells (compared to dogs at 230 million) i am still disgusted. someone once told me that human pheromones are the strongest attraction/repulsion sense we have to people or places. it's not that i have anything against hispanics, but i do have something against dirty people. well, at least when they leave their trash in the hallways and breed roaches with their habits. the people below happen to be of hispanic origin and they do a great job of reinforcing the dirty spic stereotype. i know plenty of clean spanish people, but these people are not. not only that, i remember being woken up at 5 am the other day to hear screaming (in spanish) and loud noises. so loud the floor was shaking. i lay in bed listening, wondering if i should call 911. i heard a woman crying but she wasn't screaming. i wasn't sure if he was beating her but it stung me just the same. i get real fired up when i hear/see a woman getting beaten up. it's a physiological response that i can't control. my heart rate increases and i find my jaw tightening up. i feel my insides burning up, like i have to do something. actually, it's not the fact that it's a woman, it's when she's getting her ass beaten that it bothers me. i could watch an evenly matched fight all day - between a man and a woman or two men or two women. but when a woman is cowering in a corner getting the fuck beaten out of her, i just can't take it. that's what i pictured when i heard the noises. i wanted to help her, to show her she could fight back or just get away. get strong so you can defend yourself. get strong so you don't have to be scared. my mind at that hour was sluggish but still thinking those thoughts. i fell asleep 10 minutes later. i gotta admit, being a woman actually IS confusing! who knew? not that i'm a femme nazi or anything, but it's pretty hard to live up to the high expectations of woman-standards these days. i mean, we're supposed to be sexy (but not too whore-y!), home-makers (but still independent!) caretakers of children (but not looking worn-down!) and still have that spunk everyone loves, ya know, like that female energy? i tell ya, i don't know if i'm up for it. it seems to be so much work! someone asked me if i was a feminist this weekend. i don't like to identify with groups, it's like organized religion. yeah, maybe i agree with certain ideas some people who identify as feminists have, and maybe i listen to le tigre, but no, i am not a label. i find it humourous how people feel the need to compartmentalize and label every single feeling or way of being. i mean, yeah i get it, it makes life easier, but what about the grey areas? no one fits labels to a "t." unless you shave your head and join a cult. sometimes i feel like i'm in an army when i'm practicing aikido. you get so stuck you forget what you're doing and why. repeating the same movements over and over...
oh wait.. i love organization. don't think i don't notice you look me up and down. what right do you have to invade my body's privacy? is stepping outside an invitation to stare? "hey everyone look at me! i'm wearing jeans and sneakers! yeah, the jeans are tight, but who's aren't these days? everyone's just trying to get laid." (everyone except me - it seems.) i keep my eyes strong and avoid all eye contact. (this must be why people tell me i look angry all the time) then there are the times your hisses or "hey mommie" or "dayyymn you fine" slip through my ipod's tunes. i can't help but fume inside. did i ask for your attention? did i give you permission to stare me down? did i give permission for your eyes to invade my body? i think not. and don't think for a minute that it makes me feel good about myself. in fact, it eats away at my insides every time. i hate you. and if i could, i'd beat you senseless and then poke your eyes out so you'd never be able to make a woman feel uncomfortable again. and no, it's not my self confidence that's hurting, i know i'm good looking. it's your attitude, your "i have the right to do or say anything i want to anyone on the street, cuz they're out in public." whatever happened to respect? i mean, there's always the 2 second glancing rule. no one says you've got to avoid looking at anyone, it's just plain rude to stare. and it's even ruder to dissect my body like i'm on the cover of your smutty magazine. this is why i'm bitter, this is why i'm cynical. this is why i feel ilke a piece of meat every time i step outside my house. what's with fat people on the subway? and i don't mean chubby, i mean the really fat people who take up 2 seats. and stink like sweaty underwear sometimes. and eat donuts oozing with jelly that always drips right on my shoe. if i was that fat i'd either A. lose weight or B. get a car. i mean, you know all the skinny subway people are thinking you shouldn't be there. it's gotta be hard to get around. and get your fat ass off of me. i'm sick of useless conversations. people talking about which dumb celebrity did what and did you see what so-and-so was wearing in the last movie? GOD i HATE pop culture! and i've got to get rid of my tv! or at least put it outside my room. and another thing... i'm sick of the visual pollution that is everywhere. no wonder people are so sex crazed. i can't walk anywhere with storefronts without seeing sex on a magazine cover or a soda commercial. when did we decide that sex could sell anything? i mean, give me a break. how much lower can you go? we have sunk to the very bottom. www.katesenisi.com